‘Is the key hanging where it’s supposed to hang?’ ‘Yip,’ I said. ‘Good,’ he replied. That was all. Enough for me to feel exactly how I’d felt when he’d hung it there all those years ago. A key for a space that was ours. That won’t … Continue reading A key
Today in the park my dog Fred met a Pitbull named Molly and ‘got that look in his eyes.’ My other dog barked and growled at everyone and every dog imaginable. She’s a daschund; they’re nasty like that. I saw six Japanese tourists all dressed … Continue reading On love and dogs
‘So this guy is really nice,’ I told my girlfriend. ‘He’s bright, funny, entertaining, almost everything about him is right. But he has quite a history, and it worries me. I think I’m just going to do the friend thing again.’ She looked at me … Continue reading Dating
Roses are red Violets are blue I’m just not in the mood How about you?
Things are not going so well on the love front and may I just say that I hate Valentine’s Day and I hate this stupid bloody couple who are in love and beautiful and kissing on the sidewalk in front of me. Hate them. And … Continue reading Ugh, Love
2016 was the year that so many of our idols died, the world fell a little bit to pieces, the weather went wild, and I ripped a giant hole in my favorite pair of jeans. I put on a few kilos, had a couple of … Continue reading My year in review.
‘Maybe this is the time to experiment with drugs,’ I suggested to my difficult friend while talking about the whole awful cunt Trump thing.
The problem with difficult men is that they have no sense of humour.
‘What do you mean Violet, this is not a time for drugs, this is a time for deep reflection, for looking inward, for…’
‘Oh for fucks sake, I’m kidding, I’m trying to find ways to deal with the world, a bit of LSD…’
‘Reflection, Violet, reflection. Lets see why people voted this way, what they…’
Jesus. I just want to talk about something light. Fun. Quirky.
Anything that is not Trump.
‘No drugs then. Fine. What else can we do?’
I made a few more suggestions…
Write a play together?
Rob a bank?
Join a cult.
He looked at me like I was mad.
‘The thing about Trump,’ he went on…
‘Polygamy,’ I tried.
He was very quiet for a while.
‘You know I don’t believe in marriage Violet, I’m never going to have one wife, why on earth would I have two…’
WHY DO I EVEN TRY.
He has no fucking sense of humour.
He is not funny.
He doesn’t want to do drugs.
And I meant polyamory not polygamy but everyone gets them mixed up and who cares.
It’s very hard to like a man without a sense of humour.
But I do love him a little bit.
And that does make it tricky.