There’s a fabulous dive bar in my hood and last time I went there with my girlfriends we got a little bit drunk, planned a trip to Bali and the next day we’d booked our air tickets and were already trying on bikinis. Last night … Continue reading Looking for a mechanic.
I just read about the Toronto International Porn Festival and a light bulb thing went off in my head. Yes, I thought, this what we need in South Africa. I immediately picked up my phone and texted a friend who’s a movie producer. ‘Hey. Why … Continue reading Tales of a Not so Serial Squirter
This weekend I did the most macho of things. I went to a rugby match. Rugby is a tough game. It attracts the hard and the fast. The players play hard and fast and the supporters play hard and fast. It’s aggressive, mad, seemingly dangerous … Continue reading There’s a new guy in town.
I’ve never understood The Fear of Missing Out. I have the exact opposite. I’m always delighted when I am not invited places, when I don’t have to hang around at parties for hours or make small talk to strangers at dinner parties. I never mind … Continue reading FOMO
I’ve been invited to a Thursday night pre-screening of La La Land. It’s a media thing where we’ve been promised huge buckets of popcorn, gigantic cookies, gift vouchers, make up and little sachets of perfume. Best of all they say, the evening is just for … Continue reading Girlfriends and ghosts
So I’m the kind of feminist who always stands up for women but also thinks men sometimes get a raw deal and maybe we should be gentler on them, maybe they’re just insecure and yeah, we shouldn’t really blame them for all our problems.
But fuck that.
They are to blame for everything and I know this because I have witnessed it first hand.
It was a balmy evening, 01 December 2016. Kruger National Park. We were sitting having a glass of wine in the hot African bush when suddenly, screaming.
Get in, get in, yelled the game ranger, hurtling us into the jeep. We scrambled in. And there, just around the corner, was a lioness bringing down a buffalo.
The lioness was fierce, the buffalo enormous. She tackled him head on, pulling him down with her mighty paws. He fought, he kicked, he got up again, she leapt on his back, sunk her mouth around his neck, dragged him down, he lashed out, she climbed in, dust everywhere, the screams, the growls, the fight, the cries, the gasps, the roars, it was pretty bloody violent.
She held on to him. Kept her mouth around his neck and stayed put. Our ranger explained that lions kill buffalo by suffocating them. He was on the ground, kicking and screaming, she was steadfast in her smothering.
‘This is going to take a long time’, the ranger explained. ‘This lioness does not have any canines.’
‘What, why?’ we all asked.
He explained. ‘Her teeth were knocked out when she got into a fight with a male lion. Boom bang, he knocked them out with one huge swoop.’
As he said that, the male lion, who had been nowhere in sight, suddenly wandered into the scene. Slowly, surely, padding his way out of the bush with a huge magnificent mane and a glint in his eyes.
The buffalo still fought and kicked. The lioness still smothered.
And the male lion watched. He did a bit of smelling, gave the buffalo a few pre-dinner licks, a couple of self satisfied roars, and then, settled back on to the most comfortable of rocks to watch dinner being prepared.
The buffalo took a long time to die. The lioness took a long time to kill him. And once he was dead, the male sauntered over. Pushed the lioness out the way.
And got stuck in.
Delicious, fabulous, fresh buffalo meat, killed by the very woman whose teeth he had knocked out.
It’s like real life. I am so with the lioness, who I imagine was not that happy with just the leftovers.
Fuck the patriarchy. It’s time to support 16 Days of Activism. And more.
From 25 November, the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women, to 10 December, Human Rights Day, the 16 Days of Activism against Gender-Based Violence Campaign is a time to galvanize action to end violence against women and girls around the world.
http://www.africaonfoot.com – for excellent game sightings!
‘All the men stop to say hello to you Violet, it’s such bullshit, they don’t even see us…’
I was sitting with my best friends forever in our local coffee shop.
‘Well maybe I’ve just slept with all of them,’ I replied, saying hi to Joe as he walked past.
My girlfriends laughed too.
They weren’t sure if they should believe me or not. It’s just not appropriate for women to go through all the men in the coffee shop.
I reassured them.
‘I haven’t fucked them. Any of them. Maybe I’m just friendly, I talk to everyone, hi Dave, hi Len, hi oh I don’t know your name but hey…’
Maybe I should though and notch them up on my favourite barstool. It could be fun and a good way to while away long hot summer days.
I called the waiter over and asked for his sharpest knife.
Sure, he said, wandering off to get one.
I could’ve asked for a meat cleaver and he still would’ve said sure and gone to get one.
Such good service at our local.
We got more coffee, a couple of croissants and a knife and we sipped and laughed and sipped and carved and sipped and suddenly the difficult one walked past.
Shoulders back, looking straight ahead of him, stopping for no man.
He’s the only one who I really want to stop and say hello. He’s the only one where the carving would mean something.
He’s the one that I really want to notch.