Category: erotica

Flutter flutter

Yesterday I had eyelash extensions. I’d seen someone else with them, thought she looked amazing, got the details and made an appointment.

When the beautician was finished I looked in the mirror and went OH MY GOD. Then I went FUCK. Then OH MY GOD. Then FUCK.

‘You okay?’ she asked

‘Absolutely,’ I replied.

I paid her a small fortune and then my very long very thick very black sexy eyelashes and I headed to a coffee shop.

I wasn’t sure anyone would notice.

‘OH MY GOD,’ said the barista.

‘FUCK,’ said the waitress.


‘Do you think they’re a bit much?’I asked.

Nope. No. Not at all. Everyone was in agreement. They’re amazing. Magnificent. Perfect.


I sipped my coffee and dished the beautician’s number out to all the women who asked.

And I dished mine out to all the men who asked.

Well, just one, but still.

These eyelashes are amazing. They are long, flirty, fun, glamorous and the thing is, they ooze sex appeal.

I love it.

They’ve made me walk with a swing in my step, a twinkle in my eye, I feel confident and beautiful and you know…

I’m calling my difficult friend.

These are fuck me eyelashes.

And I intend to make full use of them.

Wink wink.


Claudia is in Johannesburg. She does home visits. 082 456 3809.  It’s very fucking expensive but worth every penny!

Weekend getaway

‘Let’s go away for the weekend,’ I suggested. ‘Somewhere with a plunge pool, a Spa, delicous food, good wine.’

‘Where are you suggesting, Violet?’

A bit more enthusiasm would’ve been cool but I’ve got used to his cold unyielding ways.

‘I donno, there are lots of places, I’ll have a look, find something lovely, not too far. We can take books, read, do nothing, go for long walks, swim…’

‘When, Violet?’

Any time, look at your calendar, let’s go now, next weekend, whenever, soon…’

He was quiet for a while. Then…

‘You want to take books with?’

‘Yes. Imagine two full days without phones, no other people, just a book a day. You like reading don’t you?’

More silence.

I knew I was pushing it. But still, a weekend away.

‘Okay,’ he said. ‘Make the arrangements.’

I nearly fell off my chair. He’s never been so easy about anything.

‘But make it close to home. It should be environmentally friendly, self-sustainable, have an extra length king size bed with two duvets, non-allergic pillows, 800 thread cotton sheets, pocket sprung mattress, extra size bathtub and shower, thick decent towels, no children anywhere nearby, no cats, no horses, a bar fridge, single malt, the finest wine, complimentary cigars, crystal glasses…’

‘That’s it? That’s all?’ I asked.

‘Oh. And let’s take another woman with us,’ he said. ‘Let me know when you’ve booked.’

So much for easy.