Yesterday was Casual Sex Day and while I didn’t sleep with every stranger that I saw, in fact didn’t sleep with anyone, I did a lot of thinking about casual sex. First, I hate the word casual sex. No sex is casual. Even if it … Continue reading Casual sex
I’m lying on my bed with my Mac but my instructions are to never leave it lying on the covers or it may smother and overheat. The man at the store was very stern. ‘If you’re going to use it in bed, put a thick … Continue reading Charm me, Eat Me, Drink Me.
I think I’m a good kisser. I learned with my first long-time lover. We spent hours on the couch, in bed, in clubs, at parties, standing up, sitting down, me on top, him on top, exploring, feeling, touching, fucking. Kissing. Kissing is so good. Tongue … Continue reading Kisses and hisses
2016 was the year that so many of our idols died, the world fell a little bit to pieces, the weather went wild, and I ripped a giant hole in my favorite pair of jeans. I put on a few kilos, had a couple of … Continue reading My year in review.
Yesterday I had eyelash extensions. I’d seen someone else with them, thought she looked amazing, got the details and made an appointment.
When the beautician was finished I looked in the mirror and went OH MY GOD. Then I went FUCK. Then OH MY GOD. Then FUCK.
‘You okay?’ she asked
‘Absolutely,’ I replied.
I paid her a small fortune and then my very long very thick very black sexy eyelashes and I headed to a coffee shop.
I wasn’t sure anyone would notice.
‘OH MY GOD,’ said the barista.
‘FUCK,’ said the waitress.
‘Do you think they’re a bit much?’I asked.
Nope. No. Not at all. Everyone was in agreement. They’re amazing. Magnificent. Perfect.
I sipped my coffee and dished the beautician’s number out to all the women who asked.
And I dished mine out to all the men who asked.
Well, just one, but still.
These eyelashes are amazing. They are long, flirty, fun, glamorous and the thing is, they ooze sex appeal.
I love it.
They’ve made me walk with a swing in my step, a twinkle in my eye, I feel confident and beautiful and you know…
I’m calling my difficult friend.
These are fuck me eyelashes.
And I intend to make full use of them.
Claudia is in Johannesburg. She does home visits. 082 456 3809. It’s very fucking expensive but worth every penny!
Ever wake up
touch his skin?
‘Let’s go away for the weekend,’ I suggested. ‘Somewhere with a plunge pool, a Spa, delicous food, good wine.’
‘Where are you suggesting, Violet?’
A bit more enthusiasm would’ve been cool but I’ve got used to his cold unyielding ways.
‘I donno, there are lots of places, I’ll have a look, find something lovely, not too far. We can take books, read, do nothing, go for long walks, swim…’
Any time, look at your calendar, let’s go now, next weekend, whenever, soon…’
He was quiet for a while. Then…
‘You want to take books with?’
‘Yes. Imagine two full days without phones, no other people, just a book a day. You like reading don’t you?’
I knew I was pushing it. But still, a weekend away.
‘Okay,’ he said. ‘Make the arrangements.’
I nearly fell off my chair. He’s never been so easy about anything.
‘But make it close to home. It should be environmentally friendly, self-sustainable, have an extra length king size bed with two duvets, non-allergic pillows, 800 thread cotton sheets, pocket sprung mattress, extra size bathtub and shower, thick decent towels, no children anywhere nearby, no cats, no horses, a bar fridge, single malt, the finest wine, complimentary cigars, crystal glasses…’
‘That’s it? That’s all?’ I asked.
‘Oh. And let’s take another woman with us,’ he said. ‘Let me know when you’ve booked.’
So much for easy.