Cherries, porn, women and me

The people that I have fallen in love with recently have been women. Top of the list is Erika Lust, an erotic film maker who I am totally crushing on. I know it sounds crazy but I’m obsessed.

She’s beautiful, strong, fearless, candid, has the most gorgeous bright blue eyes, is super smart and has to be the sexiest woman alive.

Plus she makes great porn.

I love saying that.

My role model crush makes great porn and I love watching her work!

And this is what I have realised when I watch her movies.

I am drawn to the women. I find them beautiful, I love their bodies, their curves, their shape, their softness and let me just cut to the chase here, I think I like women as much as I like men.

Maybe even more.

These days when I fantasise, I fantasise about women.

When I bath and my fingers go down to my thighs, I am thinking of a woman’s fingers.

When I think about kissing, it is a woman’s lips I think of.

I would like to unzip a woman’s dress. And unclasp her bra.

I want to feel soft breasts and hard nipples, soft thighs and – inside.

And it’s not all sex. If I think of having a relationship, I would like one with a woman.

Also the pic next to my bed is of a really pretty woman eating a giant bowl of spaghetti and the spaghetti is flying everywhere and sauce is dripping down her chin and god it’s good and she looks so damn sexy.

It makes me hungry and it makes me horny.

Does it mean I’m gay?

‘I have been with women before,’ I told a friend, who was kind of questioning my life choices. ‘This isn’t totally new for me.’

Of course he wanted all the details because men love the woman on woman sex thing and it’s a huge turn on to think of two women with long legs, all tangled up, naked, kissing, feeling, kissing more, stroking, one going down, the other, I don’t know, I don’t really know what women do.

‘We shared delicious baths in soft candlelight,’ I told him. ‘She would soap my back while I read poetry out loud. There was always a lot of water and bubbles and huge soft white fluffy towels and music and wine and god yes I loved having sex with her, it was lovely and loving and gentle and sexy and I don’t know why I feel so scared now. Or what’s holding me back’

I think because having sex with a man is easier. Comfortable, maybe. We kind of know what to do. With a woman, it’s not always that easy.

I am unsure. But I think I’m ready to learn again. I’m back on that path of discovery.

And oh my god I just got very excited, there’s an email from Erika Lust in my inbox!!!

My heart.

Granted, I subscribed to her website and it’s just a mass mail about her new blog ‘Five Foods for Fucking’ and Jesus no wonder I am in love with her, she also loves food and sex and getting dirty and drinking champagne and having cream and chocolate everywhere and oh we could be soul mates and I’ve already planned the wedding.

Remember the Mary-Kate Olsen wedding and sorry I don’t know his name and maybe that’s like Freudian because, MEN, but anyway they had a big bowl filled with cigarettes in the middle of each table? I’m going to do the same with Erika but instead of cigarettes we’ll have giant bowls of fresh cherries and we’ll drink wine and read poetry and there’ll be enormous bubble baths and each guest will get a fluffy white robe or a silk kimono…

I’ll just carry on dreaming, shall I.

Because Erika is happily married and this is just a fantasy but I’m going to keep having fantasies because they’re such fun!

But this time, I’m going to fantasise about women.

Because dear reader, that may just be how I role these days.

http://erikalust.com/five-foods-fucking/

18 thoughts on “Cherries, porn, women and me

  1. Great sexy post! Mmmm, cherries… and naked women : ) Don’t worry if you’re ‘gay’, just explore. You may find out you need that label as part of your identity, or you may prefer another, like ‘Bisexual’, or ‘Lesbian’. You may also realize you are one of those folk who don’t like labels, or who can’t be categorized. So be it. Just explore. Have fun. Be open. Be respectful. Be honest. And write about it : ) Good luck! From a “50yr old woman who loves both men & women but is currently in love with a tomboy woman who feels she is both man & woman”- see, there’s no label for that one! ; )

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I think at different periods of our lives we are attracted to different people, sexes, erotic acts, etc. I love that you keep searching for what you want to explore!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Women! their fantasies are so much more grandeur and graphical compare to men..
    I am glad to see women like you who accept and expresses their fantasies..

    Like

  4. Lovely post!! I feel the same way! As I get older, I find myself fantasizing about women more and men less (although I do really enjoy a good penis!). Recently, I have developed quite a crush on my lady-parts waxer… I’ve been thinking: she gets to see my girly bits, it would be only fair that I get to see hers too, right??!!

    Liked by 1 person

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