Love notes

I remember when I was young and used to make Valentine’s Day cards, not just for one boy but for all the boys.

I would sit for hours, cut cardboard into the shape of hearts, colour them red and decorate them with glitter and stars. And then write love notes.

Love notes!

I’d always make one card extra special for my extra special crush. Extra hearts, extra glitter, tons of kisses.

xxxxxxxxxx.

It was so much fun.

Now I fucking hate the day.

Not because I’m unhappy being single, because unless I fall in the shower and die and no-one finds me for days, being single is actually pretty good.

And not because I’m anti-love because, dear sweet goddesses, I love the idea of love.

It is the relationship worshipping that drives me mad.

The idea that being single is not okay.

Well. Solitude is more than okay.

In fact, it can be amazingly brilliantly good.

But all the cards and flowers and supermarket love songs condition us into thinking that single is bad.

I’m single.  Happily. No husband or partner or even goddammit a lover in sight.

And I don’t know where I’ll be on Valentine’s Day. Probably home, alone, naked and dancing.

I may make a card. Or two. Maybe even more, because I still like the idea of giving one to all the boys. On any day, at any time.

Maybe I’ll get a card.  Maybe from the guy who is sitting at the table next to me while I write this.  I see him staring at my legs.

But I hope he reads my story before he asks me to be his Valentine.

I don’t want a Hallmark card.

My card has to be hand made. It has to have glitter.

It definitely doesn’t need to be on Valentine’s Day.

And it doesn’t need to come with chocolate.

But if it does, I love 70 % dark.  I like orange flavoured.

And I do love gummy bears.  Xxxxxxxxx.

dancing

41 thoughts on “Love notes

  1. I am also happy being single. People can never believe it. “You just haven’t met the right person,” they say. Or, “You must be lonely.”

    No, I’m not lonely. And who exactly is the right person? Enlighten me, please!

    I love my life the way it is. I get to spend my time the way I want. I have friends. I have casual sex. Sometimes I have casual sex with friends. If a man did the same they’d nod and say “love them and leave them, eh? I envy you!” but because I’m a girl that’s not enough. I should be looking for a long term relationship.

    I guess I should be grateful they don’t call me a slut.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Yes, that’s also true! Just because you’re in a relationship it doesn’t mean you can’t be lonely as well!

        It’s not that I’m against relationships. I’ve been there and done that. I just don’t want one, at least not at the moment. It’s the same way I feel about dogs: I love them in small doses, I think other people’s are cute, but I don’t want the responsibility of having one of my own.

        Liked by 2 people

  2. “Now I fucking hate the day” is a gorgeous line to express your dislike like for 14 of February. I am on the opposite end with my arms and hands ripped off. I can’t give a gift because giving gifts caused extremities for which I lost limbs. One at a time. The next time knowing another limb would be lost. And another. Another. Till now were I’d rather have a friend that I could communicate with. And on occasions look under the table at her toes then legs – you were almost right. Then blow her a kiss as a gift as my eyes glitter with her reflection she see as herself.

    Like

  3. My mum sends me a card every year. I love and hate it all at once. I also love dark chocolate, especially with sea salt and orange. If you send me your address I can send you a card? I do love you and your blog. P x x x

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Being single is so much fun! I remember the day I met Scrubs; I was absolutely polluted drunk, barely able to hold a conversation but I was still aware enough to realise that Scrubs was going to be important. I vividly remember getting into the taxi to go home and being angry – SO ANGRY! – on the inside because I was really enjoying being single and now this stupid person was going to come along and RUIN EVERYTHING. I was like a toddler having a tantrum.

    I was right, of course, and I haven’t been single since, and Scrubs is great and I don’t regret walking into that bar for a moment BUT don’t forget that when you’re single, you have so many first kiss possibilities, and there’s really nothing on earth like the tension before you kiss someone new. It’s electric! Part of it is the not knowing. The vulnerability. The putting-yourself-out-there. It’s intoxicating.

    I KNOW that Scrubs is going to kiss me back. I feel safe and wanted and desired, but that feeling of being desired and scared and excited and hesitant all at the same time? That only exists in the realm of single people (it should really have a name…). And it’s GREAT. Enjoy it while you can!

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s