Fever

My Dad is in hospital. I’ve spent the day sitting by his side, occasionally holding his hand, rubbing his shoulders or his feet and trying to reassure him.

Mostly, he does not want reassurance. He just wants to go home. But he is fragile with infection, a very high temperature and delirium. And home has become many different places. His fever has put him back in his hometown of Harare, working at a pharmacy, drinking in the golf club, and playing poker knowing that his wife (my mom) is phoning him to please come home.

He’s forgotten that his wife (my mom) died almost two years ago.

He keeps trying to pull out his drip. When I tell him where he is, in a hospital, he dismisses it completely.

I have never been sick, dear Violet, he says.  Not for a day in my life. And I am not going to get sick now.

It’s true. I do not remember my Dad ever being ill. He has always been in control, strong and healthy.

And suddenly, without warning, he isn’t.

We don’t know how much of his behaviour is because of fever, medication, old age or dementia. He’s up and down and all over the place, and in fact I am now home on the couch and my sister called to tell me he is ‘doing much better.’

So we have no idea what to expect. I think it’s going to be a fairly long and difficult process.

And I know he’s sick and it’s horrible and awful but he did say one thing to me that made me wonder about everything.

He looked at me and said:

Where is your husband, Violet?

I reminded him that I’d got divorced a few years ago.

Well then, darling, he said. This is a perfect place to find the second one.

Get well quickly Dad . I love you.

Delirium syndrome mental health icon design. Hallucinations symbol concept

34 thoughts on “Fever

  1. Uplifting you and your family! Have faith, live in faith and cherish your moments. I wish you all the best of love <3, and all the good tidings the Winter Solstice can bring you all. As always Peace & Love, Egypt.

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  2. So hard when your Mum or Dad becomes so old, confused and frail. As long as he is not in pain, and you can laugh at his sense of humour still 🙂
    Wishing you all the best, and hoping that once his fever is down, he is much better in his mind.

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  3. Sorry Vi. I’ve been dealing with an elderly mother who broke her hip recently and suffers from some permanent dementia so I feel for you. Hopefully in your dad’s case it’s temporary. It’s not politically correct to say but it can be maddening to deal with. Good luck.

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  4. A good friend once told me that S-O-B-E-R stood for: son-of-a-bitch, everything is real and that is precisely what your post brought to my remembrance. Life on life’s terms can be especially difficult and that is why I believe we have others in our lives to help carry the heavy stuff…and this is one of the heaviest. Trust in the process and God will provide the rest. XO

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  5. This brought a tear to my eye. Going through something similar with my dad, except we know the outcome. I’m not religious at all but I will say a prayer for your dad tonight. My thoughts and my heart are with you.

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    1. I am finding it extraordinary that the places he goes to in his mind are all happy ones – Mykonos, Mauritius, and today he was ‘at the beach’. The mind is extraordinary. And thank you, good idea to write things down,and good luck for you and your Dad, xx

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  6. Eish. I can identify. My darling mother died two years ago and my dad, who was always a lion of a man, is in bad shape. My thoughts are with you and Dana. Xx

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